Everything under the sun...

You're doing better all the prayers are helping. i want to come see you but i'm scared, last time you didn't know who i was. you had just come out of surgery though, i like to believe you could never actually forget me on your own. i'm so glad you're getting better, all i want, all i've always wanted, was for you to be okay, happy, healthy, and in good spirits wherever you are. i know we ended badly, and i know we haven't been together in a long time. and i know we've had bad times, but we've also had some pretty damn good times too. i also know, that no matter how hard i've tried, and no matter how many days, weeks, months, years have passed i still care for you as much as i did that first day we went out. i always felt a connection to you, it was always so easy to talk to you, and we used to just sit and converse just you and me, for hours, and no one else in the world understood me, understands me the way you do, did. so it goes with out saying, whenever you hurt, i hurt, and i just want you not to hurt anymore. i hope that when you're better we can be friends again, but even if that doesn't work out, ill just be glad the pain is over. i don't like for anyone to be in pain, mental or physical, and i know you've always hurt but i think this is a sign for you. a new beginning, a second chance to start over. you have always had so much potential, you are so talented in so many different ways. you are a beautiful and wonderful person inside and out, and i've always wanted that to shine so everyone else could see what i see. well, that's all i can say for now but i'm here for you, even if you can't see me, or hear me, or touch me, i'm always here, and you're always with me. you've always held a special place in my heart, and that place has stayed reserved for you since we first met.

love,
allison christine barnhill

p.s. the teddy bear with the smiley face is from me, so were the flowers and the card. there will be more little presents to come, don't worry. by the time you're out of the hospital you'll have all sorts of sob letters and teddy bears from me. i know you're ecstatic

Dear Blake Francis Quincel

It's me Allison and I am thinking about you night and day, even in my dreams. I pray for you every morning and every night. You are on the prayer list at my grandmother's church. I just want you to know that you have always been one of the most important people in my life. You know and I know that you changed me, you helped me grow, you contributed to who I am as an adult woman. My love for you has never changed. I know you are one of the strongest people on this planet, and I know you can make it through anything, and you will make it through this. There are so many people that love you and that are rooting for you, and we all know that you are going to come through this and prevail. You are going to be that beautiful boy, man, that I fell in love with five years ago when I was 17. You will be stronger because you will have fought so hard. I know we have not talked a lot and I know we have both moved on and have completely seperate lives, but you have always been with me in my heart and there will always be a special place there for you, your own little compartment. You could always make me laugh, and smile and know one else has ever managed to do those things the way you can. I hope when you awaken and you are healed that you and I can be friends again.

Well I guess this is getting very long and I think you might get mad for putting all this stuff on here, but I just want you to know I am thinking about you and I am praying for you.

Love always,
Allison C. Barnhill